Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My journey to find the Holy Grail: The End? - GHOST OF GUTS EATER

Never in my wildest fucking dreams did I ever think I would get the opportunity to own this tape:

The Swedish ex-rental tape of GHOST OF GUTS EATER! As far as I know; the only copy in the world!

When I saw that it was on Ebay I nearly had a heart attack! Would my dreams come true? Was it seriously possible that I might own this tape? COULD I HOLD THIS FUCKING TAPE IN MY HANDS AND WOULD IT BE FUCKING REAL??!

I'll let you how the day went on 26th September,2009. But it won't be told by me - It will be told by the person that means the world to me, my girlfriend Andrea;

''Patrick and I went shopping in Oslo. I thought it was going to be a great day. My boyfriend spending money on me!

It didn't turn out that way. Like usual Patrick complains and his head and feet starts to hurt as soon as we walk into a clothing store, especially H&M. This day he was complaining a little less then usual, which I thought was nice, but then I didn't know what I had coming.

I wanted to shop more, when Patrick suddenly realized that we wouldn't make it home to bid on GHOST OF GUTS EATER. I knew how much this meant to him, since he had talked about this VHS for over a year. Incredible, rare, bla bla. Patrick got really upset and we began fighting. I thought we should try to catch the train home, but Patrick said it was no point. We wouldn't make it and it would probably go for $10.000! We continued to fight when I got a great idea: An Internet Cafe! Of course, why hadn't I thought about that? If we found an Internet Cafe he still would have time to bid. We rushed to the nearest Internet Cafe, paid and got a computer. Patrick went on Ebay, where we saw that GHOST OF GUTS EATER didn't end when Patrick had thought it did. The auction was still an hour and a half away from ending. I thought this meant more shopping, but no. We decided to go home now that we had time to go home and bid there. We decided to take the bus.

We knew that when the bus reached our destination it would be 10 minutes until the auction ended. And 10 minutes is about the time I use to go to the bus station from home, so we had no time to loose. I told Patrick that when the bus stops at our station he should just run and take the shortcut through the forest. And then I would come after him, carrying all our bags, which was probably ten huge bags. Patrick had bought a huge bong, that he had managed to smash into things in the stores several times, so running with it probably wasn't a good idea. All was carefully planned, but what we hadn't foreseen was the old bus driver who thought 10MPH was the best speed. It must have been the slowest bus ride ever.

To Patrick and my frustration the bus was full of people that was coming on and off the bus on every stop. And the bus seemed to take a much longer route then usual. Patrick seemed to be going crazy, tapping his fingers on the seat in front of him. And every time the stop signed lighted up we sighed. It seemed impossible that we would get home in time - I even called my brother to check with him when the bus should be at our stop. He told me 5-10 minutes before the auction ended. But that was not calculated with delay. As a joke I put on ''Stress'' by Justice and put the plug in Patrick's ear. Remembering him telling me that it was a really stressful song, which probably is obvious by the title. We both thought it was sort of fun, since it almost felt like a movie, feeling the pulse rise and knowing that we had little time. That the bus still went 10MPH didn't help.

We got close to our destination and now knew that either we would just barely make it, or be minutes too late.

We saw another bus coming towards us and I thought to myself; it is typical if the bus drivers stop to chat. And what do you think happened? Of course they did!

We sat in the back of the bus and Patrick shouted to the bus driver - He cursed and said that some of us where in a hurry and didn't have time for this. The bus driver started driving again, still in 10MPH of course.

When the bus finally stopped at our station we did as planned. Patrick was ready and rushed out of the bus and into the forest. I came after carrying shopping bags filled with clothes and a large bong.

When I came home Patrick had sat down to bid. He was smoking as a sponge while waiting to place a last minute bid.

In the end Patrick didn't win.''

So there you have it, I ran trough the satanic forests of Norway to win this VHS. I didn't, of course! The tape went for $510.

BUT a few days later I received my GHOST OF GUTS EATER copy from Jack J. So I have seen the Holy Grail. Will this end my journey? I don't know.


Ninja Dixon said...

I'm sure there will be your turn sooner or later. Maybe later, when you're old and grey... but it's never to late!

And thanks for a great story here :) Or maybe I should thank Andrea! :)

Paul Cooke aka Buckaroobanzai said...

Patrick, did the Bong survive !? :) . Paul

Patrick B said...

Thanks Fred :)


Yes, it did. Yes, it did :)

Jack J said...

Wow, what a rundown of that day's events! Thanks to Andrea for that report. And why do you keep arguing with her?! I don't see what she sees in you. Andrea, if you're reading this: come to Denmark we have plenty nice men for you here. LOL.

And I learnt long ago NEVER to trust those bloody bus drivers! Bus drivers are only half a step up the social ladder from nasty drug dealin' psychopaths that you meet in smack houses if you ask me.

Ninja Dixon said...

It's true. When you say hello to a bus driver he's just staring back with those empty shark-eyes... and you know he will ruin your day!

Patrick B said...


Bastard! Hehe.


Haha. You two surely hate bus drivers.

JoseViruete said...

I have similar adventures in ebay bidding. Of course my girlfriend doesn't understand this and his approach is very similar to yours. In fact, I show her this post so she can check there's more people around as me :) Grat story.

Patrick B said...

Cool :)

Thank you