Monday, May 18, 2009

Pinky Violence: Walls, Balls and Beard - A study in how the Bearded Movie Aficionado deals with early morning bidding

So I got in bed late last night - well, not late according to my usual schedule. But late for the plan I had made. I had to bid on something on Ebay, but it ended early in the morning. Around 5AM and then 6AM, and then 7:30AM, so my plan was to wake up several times, but hey, here I am, it's been an hour since I bid on the first of four items I want. And I haven't slept since. And I also got to bed around 1a.m, but did I go to sleep? No! - I got caught up in watching a silly Wednesday drama, as we call it in Norway, about a kid getting addicted to Porn, while my girlfriend was nagging about a massage. I think I fell asleep around 3AM. So I am not the happiest of people this morning, since I had to get up at 5AM, and haven't slept since. Probably going to fall asleep, watching a movie later.

I am tired as shit, but I can't go to sleep, I tried it - I laid in bed for 40 minutes, and after that much amount of time without falling back to sleep again, I just get pissed! Proper shitty pissed! But not pissed in the good drunken way, like many of you British or Americans use as slang - No! I got fucking angry! Wish I was drunk tough. But I don't think drinking in the morning is so healthy. And I don't have any beer left, just some J&B. And I'm not getting drunk before my girlfriend gets up - she's so used to seeing me drunk all the time, so it's probably good for her to see my sober at least in the morning before she gets to work! Right?
Hm, a bit pissed and rambling when I wrote that first part. But The Bearded don't edit. Well, I haven't got any sleep yet, but I'm making breakfast now, and getting ready to watch a movie.

Oh, the bidding? What is was? Well it was these beauties:

Assault! Jack the Ripper

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion: Beast Stable

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion: Grudge Song

Female Prisoner: Scorpion: New #701

I'm tired as hell, but it was worth it! Look at all the lovely posters I got out of barely no sleep at all! They are getting the star treatment, just as all my posters. But Beast Stable and Grudge Song is getting a very special place on the wall of my movie room. They are going to be sent to a frameworker and get BIG antique gold frames! I love it.
All of them are original Japanese posters.
[Click on pictures for full size of the whole posters]

Thursday, May 14, 2009

80's fun - A Nightmare On Elm Street dream package

I found this ad a few days ago. I would have loved this as a kid!

Included in the package:
- Mask
- Hat
- Glove
- Poster
- Game
- Book

All for $98! I don't know how much the dollar was worth back in the 80's, but according to current rates, it ain't so bad!

[Click on picture for larger size]

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My journey to find the Holy Grail

I have begun my journey to find my own personal Holy Grail. I'm not going to say what it is, because I don't want any interference. It could help me to post it, but I choose not to. I am writing about this journey, and maybe I'll post it one day, when I find it. But this is a very rare item, and it can take me forever, I might never even find it. But it won't destroy me. I'll do all I can at first, and if that doesn't help I'll just wait for it to come along.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Story telling time - Bearded Movie Aficionado style! Part 3: Purani Haveli - Mansion of Evil

So, I woke up made myself some breakfast and drank some energy drinks, because I only slept 5 hours last night, and started looking trough my collection. I picked Bollywood Horror collection v.2. I was looking for some fun this morning, so of course I picked the Bollywood Horror Collection!

I watched what seemed like was not the ''main attraction'' in the second volume of the collection - Purani Haveli - Because I was sold when I looked at the back of the cover - ''hairy beasts roam the corridors''. I was in a more hairy beast mood, then I was in a vampire mood. And since I am the Bearded Movie Aficionado, I felt obligated to watch Purani Haveli first.

This movie has horror, hairy beasts, killer statues, a crazy old man, musical numbers, a HERO, humour, JESUS (not Jesus himself, but the imagery of Jesus. And lots of it), stuffed animals, and..... Yeah, I don’t know what to finish with, because there is so much crazy and weird stuff in this movie. And yeah - The main ''hero'' had a sidekick, a fat and silly sidekick - Which in the running time of 2 hours and 19 minutes had his own little movie within the movie!

The horror scenes was actually very effective, but most of the movie - 2 hours and 19 min - was a love drama story and silly humour, and of course singing! You can't have a Bollywood movie without singing - That also includes the horror movies! So after much love and drama and 4-5 musical numbers and a silly sidekick movie within a Bollywood horror movie I was left with a smile on my face. They could have cut 30-40 min of the film, and it would have been a very good and surprisingly effective horror movie, and not silly like most of these movies are - But I love the silliness. The differences in this and other ‘‘silly’’ batshit movies are that in Purani Haveli it was intentional! I love the non-intentional silliness in other batshit world weird movies, but it was fun laughing when you where suppose to laugh.

In other words: My day started off great!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Krasue Kud Porb - ''Flying head with intestines dangling underneath''

I haven't seen much when it comes to the genre ''flying head with intestines dangling underneath''. But I shure do love the ones I have seen - One of them are Mystics In Bali which you should all check out.

But in my hunt for more of these flicks I came across one today - Krasue Kud Porb:

Isn't it beautiful?

Unfortunately it is on VCD. This is actually my first VCD ever, so I couldn't really know how the ''experience'' is, but based on screenshots the quality isn't really much to talk about. There is no English subtitles, at least not that I could find out. But hey - I got it for $6, so who cares?

There aren't much of these on DVD, at least that I know of!

Jack will probably have something smart to say about this post, since he's more knee deep in this genre then I am, so bring it on Jack!

Pengabdi Setan

I understand that VHS tapes, for many, are very beautiful and some are very collectible. Which all of us film folk out there like very much - Because It makes our balls bigger and other film folk at some forum might look up to us! But when you have a movie that has been released uncut on DVD with a bunch of other probably (Haven't seen many of them yet, but guessing) really cool eastern horror flicks in a great Box set - Why would you buy it on Japanese VHS with Indonesian language and Japanese subtitles? You wouldn't understand shit! Unless you know Japanese or Indonesian - Which most of these VHS madmen probably can't! I recently bought A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 on Japanese VHS, so why am I ranting about this? Well, because I wouldn't have bought it if I didn't get it for the price I got it for - $9! And it's nostalgic for me. I love watching some of my all time favourites on VHS when I get the chance. Because it's nostalgic - That's how crappy they looked like on the TV! So it gets me back to the good ol' times, scratching my beard as a 8 year old boy, watching horror movies on NRK (Which is a channel you probably never have heard about!)

But back to Pengabdi Setan: the cover is amazing. Just look at it:

Who wouldn't like that on their shelf? I know I wouldn't, BUT currently this movie is $89 on Ebay. And there are still many days left of bidding. And you can get it on this box set, with 9 other fantastic movies! Fully uncut and with ENGLISH subtitles! Pengabdi Setan translated is Satan's Slave - Which it goes by in the box set. So are people just ignorant because of the title, or do they love spending to much?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Story telling time - Bearded Movie Aficionado style! Part 2: Golden Queens Commando

The first 20 minutes consist of getting to know the characters: Sugar Plum, Black Fox, Quick Silver, Amazon, Dynamite and Black Cat - Truly Asian names. Then movie rip offs everything it possibly can. It starts off as a crime film; slips into a women In Prison film, then to a prison escape film, then a World War 2 secret mission film, onward into a western film and then a James Bond film. So it has a lot going for it. I also get an Indiana Jones vibe at certain points. And how could I forget the slapstick'ish humour that runs throughout the whole movie. It also steals a lot of music: Mostly from The God, The Bad and The Ugly. But it's ok - It fits the scene, since it became a western at the end. This is just great!

I enjoy most of the movies I watch with beer! Enhancing the movie? No. Just pure deliciousness! But I've been sick for some days now, and didn't feel like having beer. But I had my cigarettes and a really good movie! So I was fine. But then as I sat trough the movie I noticed that they where drinking beer all the time! Damn, I'm thirsty.

Also - Asian women wearing Nazi uniforms and rocking 80's hair dues never fail. Watch it if you want pure fun and entertainment. PURE STYLISH ASIAN ACTION!!

Why aren’t these kinds of movies out on DVD yet? These are the true classics that people need to see. Mondo Macabro - I'm looking at you!

So in the end I couldn't enjoy this movie with beer, because I've been sick for some days now. But it was fun as hell, and everybody should check this out.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I have no life

Since I don't have much to write about, I'll write about something that won't interest any of you. But so far this year, since Januar 1, I've seen 118 movies! And since this year only has been 123 days so far, I think I've seen many many movies. So how many movies will I get to see this year? I don't know - 400 maybe? Nah, let's say 300.

I could post the whole list. But I won't do it until I get a request. What can I say? Lazy, but bearded.