Friday, October 30, 2009
So yesterday, Thursday, I went to get ORPHAN and NIGHT OF THE CREEPS on Blu-ray, for a ridiculous amount, but not as ridiculous as Amazon. And I needed these movies for Halloween. I went into the store picked up the ORPHAN blu-ray and walked up to the cashier desk. I put ORPHAN on the desk and asked if they had gotten NIGHT OF THE CREEPS on Blu-ray yet. He told me that it was sold out!! What the fuck!? I was pissed. Pissed as fucking hellshit piss fuck. I new it was my own fault, and the guy asked me if he should order it again, and it would be in on Monday, I said fuck that and paid for ORPHAN. But this made me think about all the expensive DVD stores in Oslo and the people who buy movies from them. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT ZE INTERNETZ YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!! When I see people buying DUST DEVIL in a Norwegian Geek store for $130, when it actually costs somewhere between $20-30 I get pissed, and the fact that they can take such sick prices just gets to me. I fucking hate them. I hate them so much!!
For a long time I've wanted to ask them why they have so fucking outrages prices. How can you rob people of they're hard earned cash like that? It's like : ''COME HERE AND LET ME FUCK YOU STRAIGHT UP THE ASS''
I'm talking about you OUTLAND (This is not the store where I asked for the Blu-rays)! Do you love screwing people over? Do you love slamming people to the ground, fuck them in the ass and steal they're money? You are fucking criminals! And people buy from you! I can't understand it. Someday I will confront you on this! Fuck you!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Everyone has seen it, but it is a masterpiece, and I love it more for each viewing. But if you haven't seen this, which I doubt, then fucking see it!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I've been in love with French cinema for a long time, but this, this was heaven. It's like God taking a piss in your mouth, which probably would taste like the best beer ever. A true masterpiece from 1980 that you have to see. I must say I had high hopes after the cover was revealed, but I lowered them for a while and jumped into this movie with mixed feelings, and I came out happy and drunk on Gods golden beer piss.
Thank you Don May Jr. This release is the best you have ever put out. Keep putting out more french horror.
Btw, I will hopefully also learn French as soon as possible.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
''Jackie is a young woman determines to reverse her bad luck. She consults the God of Gold, who advises her to "nurse a ghost". She is given a small figure to worship, and the worship includes dripping three drops of her own blood every three days. At first, all goes well and she falls in love. But this new happiness causes Jackie to forget to worship the figure, and the spirit doesn't like it. With good intentions, her new boyfriend, Raymond, discovers Jackie's strange predicament and attempts an exorcism which goes horribly wrong. The spirit takes over Raymond, who starts doing nasty things''
That sweet and dark asian horror that we like so much, but is so freakin' unavailable! God, when will the VHS and VCD hunting stop? It's just to much sometimes. And as far as I know there is only a VCD:
Goddamn, I don't think I've ever seen a nice VCD cover. They are ugly abominations of god! But also a heavenly creature of god, because it's another rare movie watching format! The movie looks amazing! Dark and Nasty Asia!
Mondo Macabro are set to release THE SADIST WITH RED TEETH! Finally!
The movie (from what I've heard) is very surreal and plays with many of the vampire myths. I can't say that I'm always in the mood for surreal cinema. But you can't go wrong with this one. Just look at it. LOOK!!
''Daniel gets out of the hospital where he has been cured for "vampirical obsessions". But his life takes a weird turn as he transforms into a vampire and starts to kill women. Despite his young fiancee's support, Daniel's fate is definitely doomed.''
Fairly simple plot, but I think this is going to be great. And the release seems very good:
''Making this even more mouth-watering is that it will be a double feature! Van Belle's mondoesque (and even more rare) FORBIDDEN PARIS is also included! That's just too much obscure Euro-ecstasy for us to handle! Also to be included in the package will be a new documentary about Mr. Van Belle as well video introductions to the two films by the director.''
Jared - Worldweird Cinema
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Swedish ex-rental tape of GHOST OF GUTS EATER! As far as I know; the only copy in the world!
When I saw that it was on Ebay I nearly had a heart attack! Would my dreams come true? Was it seriously possible that I might own this tape? COULD I HOLD THIS FUCKING TAPE IN MY HANDS AND WOULD IT BE FUCKING REAL??!
''Patrick and I went shopping in Oslo. I thought it was going to be a great day. My boyfriend spending money on me!
It didn't turn out that way. Like usual Patrick complains and his head and feet starts to hurt as soon as we walk into a clothing store, especially H&M. This day he was complaining a little less then usual, which I thought was nice, but then I didn't know what I had coming.
I wanted to shop more, when Patrick suddenly realized that we wouldn't make it home to bid on GHOST OF GUTS EATER. I knew how much this meant to him, since he had talked about this VHS for over a year. Incredible, rare, bla bla. Patrick got really upset and we began fighting. I thought we should try to catch the train home, but Patrick said it was no point. We wouldn't make it and it would probably go for $10.000! We continued to fight when I got a great idea: An Internet Cafe! Of course, why hadn't I thought about that? If we found an Internet Cafe he still would have time to bid. We rushed to the nearest Internet Cafe, paid and got a computer. Patrick went on Ebay, where we saw that GHOST OF GUTS EATER didn't end when Patrick had thought it did. The auction was still an hour and a half away from ending. I thought this meant more shopping, but no. We decided to go home now that we had time to go home and bid there. We decided to take the bus.
We knew that when the bus reached our destination it would be 10 minutes until the auction ended. And 10 minutes is about the time I use to go to the bus station from home, so we had no time to loose. I told Patrick that when the bus stops at our station he should just run and take the shortcut through the forest. And then I would come after him, carrying all our bags, which was probably ten huge bags. Patrick had bought a huge bong, that he had managed to smash into things in the stores several times, so running with it probably wasn't a good idea. All was carefully planned, but what we hadn't foreseen was the old bus driver who thought 10MPH was the best speed. It must have been the slowest bus ride ever.
To Patrick and my frustration the bus was full of people that was coming on and off the bus on every stop. And the bus seemed to take a much longer route then usual. Patrick seemed to be going crazy, tapping his fingers on the seat in front of him. And every time the stop signed lighted up we sighed. It seemed impossible that we would get home in time - I even called my brother to check with him when the bus should be at our stop. He told me 5-10 minutes before the auction ended. But that was not calculated with delay. As a joke I put on ''Stress'' by Justice and put the plug in Patrick's ear. Remembering him telling me that it was a really stressful song, which probably is obvious by the title. We both thought it was sort of fun, since it almost felt like a movie, feeling the pulse rise and knowing that we had little time. That the bus still went 10MPH didn't help.
We got close to our destination and now knew that either we would just barely make it, or be minutes too late.
We saw another bus coming towards us and I thought to myself; it is typical if the bus drivers stop to chat. And what do you think happened? Of course they did!
We sat in the back of the bus and Patrick shouted to the bus driver - He cursed and said that some of us where in a hurry and didn't have time for this. The bus driver started driving again, still in 10MPH of course.
When the bus finally stopped at our station we did as planned. Patrick was ready and rushed out of the bus and into the forest. I came after carrying shopping bags filled with clothes and a large bong.
When I came home Patrick had sat down to bid. He was smoking as a sponge while waiting to place a last minute bid.
In the end Patrick didn't win.''
BUT a few days later I received my GHOST OF GUTS EATER copy from Jack J. So I have seen the Holy Grail. Will this end my journey? I don't know.
The Thai poster for Krasue Kud Porb. It's mine! All mine!
My list isn't complete yet, but here is it:
- The Blob (1988)
- The Gate (1987)
- Trick 'R Treat
- Child's Play (1988)
- An American Werewolf In London (1981)
Drag Me To Hell was also part of the list, but I decided to watch it a few days ago, and I'm glad I did - What a fucking waste of time! It seemed like Sam Raimi was drunk and masturbating to Tim Burton movies while making Drag Me To Hell. I'm sorry but this was a piece of shit! Maybe it would have been better if it wasn't Sam Raimi. Who knows.
But back to the list - As you see I'm going for 80's this year. Both me and my girlfriend loves the 80's, so it will be a good evening. I know Trick 'R Treat is on the list, but I doubt I have time to see it. But that really doesn't make sense since it's a Halloween movie. So it should be perfect. Go figure.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
This is actually good and will be cool as hell. Shocked? Don't be. It's a fan remake:
Hello! You and 472 other people have the chance to recreate Star Wars: A New Hope. Below is the entire movie split up into 15 second clips. Click on one of the scenes to claim it, film it, and upload it. You can have up to three scenes! When we're all done, we'll stitch it all together and watch the magic happen
Star Wars Uncut is 63% complete! 37% pending.
This is going to be awesome. I can't wait!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
A small town in 18th century Transylvania is being terrorized by an evil witch. When a child is brutally attacked, the villagers capture the fiend and sentence her to death by dunking chair, but not before she casts a curse on them and their descendants. Two hundred years later, young newlyweds Veronica (Barbara Steele, Black Sunday) and Philip (Ian Ogilvy, And Now The Screaming Starts) pass through the town on a tour of the Carpathians, only to have their car pulled into a lake by an unseen force . A passing truck driver quickly rescues two bodies from the wreck. One is Philip, battered but alive, and the other is...the witch, back from the dead to wreak havoc on the town once again!
And this cover:
... Wouldn't you think that you where in for a thrill ride of gothic horror?
You are wrong! You are very wrong!
What you get is a very silly movie, bad effects, bad acting and a very thin plot - you wouldn't think that after that long synopsis I just presented for ya. But that's the truth. If you think otherwise after viewing this movie I feel sorry for you.
BUT this doesn't mean it's a bad movie! It was fun as hell! It actually was a thrill ride, but not a thrill ride of gothic horror, but a thrill ride of fun! You even have slapstick humor - which kinda reminded me of the cops in The Last House on the Left. This movie has gotten some very bad reviews. But you need to own this DVD. I haven't had this much fun with a horror movie in a long time. It's just so very wrong, but still so perfect.
''DEADLIER THAN DRACULA! WILDER THAN THE WEREWOLF! MORE FRIGHTENING THAN FRANSKENSTEIN!''
Yeah right! Haha. Grab a few beers and enjoy!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Parasites are the masters of the universe. They are truly unique and just fucking awesome. Parasites have been the talk when me and my friends have gathered lately. What's so special about parasites? Parasites can: rewrite DNA; rewire the brain; genetically engineer viruses as weapons; and turn healthy hosts into the living dead. Parasites are also the reason why people in the South (America) are so pale and lazy (Rednecks, Hillbilles, whatever you wanna call 'em). It's true! Check it up.
The Thaw isn't a great horror movie, it's average. But if you think parasites are interesting, then check out The Thaw.
Remember, I don't write reviews, so check this one instead.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thanks to my new subscribers; Ryan Jackson, Scandy Tangerine Man and gameboys28695. Thank you very much :)
I hope you don't mind if I post your names and link to your blogs :)